Grotesque Anatomy
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
  In Other Reviews
Since I'm too lazy to do my own reviews, I submit to you more Locking goodness:
Avengers: What the fuck happened here? Four issues ago, Black Panther punched Red Skull's jaw OFF. With his gloves off, so Red Skull would be slapped about by his dirty black skin. That was AWESOME. And now? THE SEARCH FOR SHE-HULK! What the fuck? SHE-HULK? As if the universe wasn't ruined enough by the creation of a fictional character called SHE-HULK, now they have to go and actively SEARCH for her? And it's not even a search! It's what, a four-issue story, and they found her in issue one! Now they're fighting her! It should have been called THE FIGHT WITH SHE-HULK, WHERE THE ARTIST SEEMS TO REALLY LIKE DRAWING HER WITH LACY PURPLE UNDERWEAR. Ah, I get it - Chuck Austen's the next writer, so Geoff Johns is trying to ease us seamlessly into Austen's stories by upping the mediocrity of his own stories. CLEVER.

Daredevil: In-fucking-terminable! Aren't there some sort of legal grounds for having Mack forcibly ejected and Bendis brought back on? Even an appearance by Wolverine doesn't make this story interesting! It's fucking DULL!

The Crew: Awww, why does this have to end? Oh yeah, because WHITEY KEEPS THE MAN DOWN!

JLA Avengers: Now it's the SQUEEZE ALL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS IN issue! Hal! You're back! Wow, so are you, LEGIONS OF BORING DEAD SUPERHEROES! It's clear that the entire plot of the crossover was wrenched into position to make way for this loosely-connected string of scenes that exist only so older incarnations of characters can make their dubious cameos.
Like Unto A Thing Of Irony!

Iron Fist

by John Jakala

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