Grotesque Anatomy
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
  Who Lives? Who Dies? Who Cares?
Brilliant or crass?  Marvel, ever mindful of the confusion their mega-crossovers generate, has created a little chart to help fans track which hero bites it next in the upcoming "Avengers Disassembled!" event:
Keep track of who lives, who’s hurt, and who gets the one-way ticket to that Avengers mansion in the sky with our handy Disassembled watch list.
Remember, it's all story motivated.   It's not just shock for shock's sake.  It is about the characters.

That said, I do love some of the descriptions of the fates suffered by various characters:  "Valkyrie - FELL OUT OF THE SKY"; "Warrior's Three: Fandral - SHREDDED - WHERE'S HIS FACE"; "Warrior's Three: Volstagg - MISSED A FEW MEALS, FOUND STARVED IN CAVE"  I'm already trying to guess how the Marvel staff will describe Ant Man's demise once Avengers #500 hits the stands:  "Ant Man - HUGGED CORPSE OF FELLOW MALE AVENGER, OBLITERATED BEFORE NERVOUS FANBOYS COMPLAINED ABOUT POSSIBLE HOMOEROTIC/NECROPHILIC OVERTONES"

Now we just need DC to set up a similar checklist for all the indignities heaped upon Sue Dibny in Identity Crisis.
Like Unto A Thing Of Irony!

Iron Fist

by John Jakala

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