Grotesque Anatomy
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
  Fun With Marvel's Solicits
Graeme's found an early copy of Marvel's September solicits over on Millarworld.  I, for one, was disappointed to see that they've splintered the awesome GENERATION X-PACK concept into solo titles such as MADROX, JUBILEE, and WARLOCK, but there's still plenty to pick on in the remaining solicits:
HULK & THING: HARD KNOCKS #1 (OF 4)
Written by Bruce Jones
Cardstock Cover & Pencils by Jae Lee
"HARD KNOCKS" PART 1 (of 4)
Bruce Jones and superstar artist Jae Lee bring you the ultimate Hulk/Thing battle! Think you know everything about the unique relationship between Marvel’s two most powerful sluggers? Guess again.

What "unique relationship"?  They just pound on each other.  This isn't rocket science, folks.
DAREDEVIL #65 - THE DAREDEVIL ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
Written by Brian Michael Bendis
Penciled by Alex Maleev & Friends
Cover by Greg land
Daredevil headlines this special, oversized issue celebrating both the 40th anniversary of the character AND the 5th anniversary of the groundbreaking Marvel Knights imprint! The Eisner-winning team of Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev invite some of the greatest comic artists who have never before drawn Daredevil to answer the question: How has the public revelation of Daredevil’s secret identity affected the rest of the Marvel Universe? This once-in-a-lifetime gathering of super heroes and superstar talent includes Spider-Man, Captain America, The Punisher, Doctor Strange, Nick Fury, Elektra, and many more. Artists include Maleev and a band of stars including Chris Bachalo, Michael Golden, Greg Horn, Jae Lee, Mike Mayhew, Frank Quitely, and P. Craig Russell (at least)!

Does that "at least" qualifier read as "we don't want to risk making this returnable by naming too many specific artists" to anyone else?
Q: WHAT IS MARVEL KNIGHTS 2099?
A: The surest evidence yet that Robert Kirkman has some damn good dirt on someone at Marvel.
NYX #6
Written by Joe Quesada
Penciled by Robert Teranishi
Cover by Joshua Middleton
What if you could become anyone in the world for a day? What would you do? Who would you be? Captain America fighting alongside the Avengers? Bono during a concert in Wembley Stadium? Meet a young mutant who doesn't have to wonder. His powers let him be anyone he wants, and he isn't shy about using them.
RESOLICITED – ALL PREVIOUS ORDERS ARE CANCELLED.

What is this?  Like the sixth or seventh time this has been cancelled and resolicited?
ULTIMATE ELEKTRA #2 (of 5)
Written by mike carey
Cover & Pencils by Salvador Larroca
"DEVIL’S DUE" Part 2 (of 5)
A slam-bang second issue! Ultimate Kingpin enters the life of the young warrior, Elektra, and he’s joined by a mystery killer who’s right on target! What does that mean for Matt Murdock?

Why stop at appending "Ultimate" in front of "Kingpin"?  Wouldn't this solicit read much better if it were: "Ultimate Kingpin enters the life of the ultimate young warrior, Ultimate Elektra, and he’s joined by an ultimate mystery killer who’s right on ultimate target! What does that mean for Ultimate Matt Murdock?"?
X-MEN #161 & #162
Written by Chuck Austen
Cover & Pencils by Salvador Larroca
"HEROES AND VILLIANS" Parts 1 & 2 (OF 4)
Brand-new story arc! The Brotherhood of Mutants is back with Nocturne from the Exiles, and a surprise shocker of a member!

Wow, that is quite a member!  (Sorry, but I am the blogosphere's Unintentional Porn Spotter after all.)
EXILES #52
Written by Tony Bedard
Penciled by James Calafiore
Cover by Mizuki Sakakibara
"LIVING PLANET" 1 (OF 2)
The Exiles must stop the Avengers and Doctor Doom before they destroy the Earth! And did someone say Ego, The Living Planet? You bet they did!

My doctor said, "Ego, The Living Planet."
FANTASTIC FOUR #518
Written by Mark Waid
Pencils & Cover by MiKE Wieringo
AVENGERS DISASSEMBLED TIE-IN!
"FOURTITUDE" Part 2 (of 3)
With public opinion of the FF at an all-time low and with all of Manhattan endangered by a mysterious alien overlord, which member of the team will make a decision that will radically change the Fantastic Four for some time to come?

At least they've given up trying to pretend that someone "will make a decision that will radically change the Fantastic Four...forever!!"
POWERLESS #4 (OF 6)
Written by Matt Cherniss & Peter Johnson
Penciled by Michael Gaydos
Cover by ANDY BRASE
With great power must come great responsibility… but when the entire Marvel Universe is recast as a world that is powerless… are our heroes still noble? Was it the radioactive spider bite that made Peter Parker a hero and Norman Osborn a villain? Or was it destiny?

I've lost track due to all the rejiggering Marvel does with its characters' origin stories:  So now one spider bite created both Spider-Man and the Green Goblin?  Was John Byrne and his sense of "streamlining coincidences" responsible for this?

And just to show that it's not all about mockery, I am looking forward to this:
ESSENTIAL SUPER-VILLAIN TEAM-UP TPB
Written by STAN LEE, ROY THOMAS, LEN WEIN, TONY ISABELLA, GERRY CONWAY, JIM SHOOTER, MARV WOLFMAN, STEVE ENGLEHART, BILL MANTLO, ARCHIE GOODWIN & LARRY LIEBER
Pencils by BILL EVERETT, GEORGE EVANS, WALLY WOOD, JOHN BUSCEMA, SAL BUSCEMA, GENE COLAN, BOB HALL, MIKE SEKOWSKY, GEORGE PEREZ, JIM SHOOTER, SAL TRAPANI, GEORGE TUSKA, GEORGE EVANS, HERB TRIMPE & KEITH GIFFEN
Cover by GIL KANE
The line between hero and villain can be very thin, but rarely as thin as in a book this big! The giants of the field collaborate on a war epic stretching from the towers of Doctor Doom's Latveria to the depths of Namor's Atlantis – with the Fantastic Four, the Avengers and the Champions caught in the middle! Attuma! The Red Skull! Magneto! The world is at stake, and you are there!
Collects GIANT-SIZE SUPER-VILLAIN TEAM-UP #1-2, SUPER-VILLAIN TEAM-UP #1-14 and #16-17, AVENGERS #154-156, CHAMPIONS #16, and ASTONISHING TALES #1-8.

Hee hee hee!  Good lord, that sounds wonderfully goofy!!  But what's up with the missing SUPER-VILLAIN TEAM-UP #15?  (OK, wait, just answered my own question:  It looks like SVTU #15 reprinted bits from ASTONISHING TALES #4 & #5, which are already included in the Essential.)
 
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by John Jakala

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