Grotesque Anatomy
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
  Who'd Win?
The V are at it again:

Ogami Itto vs. Akira:
SFX: gara gara gara gara

Akira: ...

Ogami Itto: Hrrng!

SFX: KA-FUCKING-BOOOOOOOOM!

Kaneda: TETSUOOOO!

Tetsuo: KANEDAAAA!

Peasants: Lordy!

Ogami Itto vs. Batman:

WRONG! Your logic is based on a flawed premise. Ogami Itto is not Japanese 19th Century Batman, he's LONE WOLF. He's SIMILAR to Batman, but he's not Batman. Easily shown via this simple logical conundrum:

Who wins out of Ogami Itto and Batman? Answer: DINNA DINNA DINNA DINNA DINNA DINNA DINNA DINNA BATMAN!

...

Ogami Itto is Batman's great great great great great grandfather, according to V Super-Continuity:
"To avenge you, my wife... I shall become.... a wolf"

"Ninjas are a cowardly and superstitious lot... "
Batman vs. Batman from THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS:
Old Batman also has his own private army, and prepubescent totty to distract Young Batman: 'Quick, Robin! Flash him your knickers! Good soldier."
Now I want to know how Batman from THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS would be able to defeat Akira.  (Really, Kaneda since Kaneda "defeats" Akira at the end of AKIRA.) (Or how TDKR Batman would be able to defeat Kaneda, since Kaneda survives every outlandish threat that's thrown at him through sheer stubbornness.)
 
Like Unto A Thing Of Irony!

Iron Fist

by John Jakala

HOME
Main Blog

MORE
Fun With Marvel's Solicits
DC for September
"ALL YOUR KUNG FU TRICKS CAN'T SAVE YOU THIS TIME!...
EW's Comic Coverage
Bargains and Betrayal
Thanks
Friday Free-For-All
Mercenary Musings
Miscellaneous Manga Musings
Rainy Day Diversions