Re-examining The Classics
The
V reconsider some of the supposed comic book classics:
Animal Man, what a load of rubbish. "Look, a picture of a
hand holding a paintbrush! SIGNIFICANT!"
What fucks me off is MIRACLEMAN! "Oooh, look at me, I'm Superman, but
I'm God, too!" - oh, how fucking clever. And oo, a Nietzsche quote,
fucking get you, Alan Moore.
Don't forget Sandman! What a load of old tripe! "Have you read any
books? Not as many as me! Where're my Sisters of Mercy albums?"
FROM HELL - "Whhoooaaaaaaaah, BUILDINGS ARE INTERESTING! And look as I
TELL YOU A STORY YOU ALREADY KNOW!" YAWN.
FLEX MENTALLO - "Ooo, look at my gay knickers! And now some shit about
a rock star for completely no reason!" And all the superheroes were
shit! I don't want to read about Morrison's wank-fantasies!
Look at Jimmy Corrigan - "Oh, woe, I'm a fat depressed bloke, isn't my
life terribly meaningful?" No, and your comic's rubbish! It's all tiny
boxes! If I wanted tiny boxes, I'd buy a Kellogg's Variety Pack!
The Dark Knight Returns? Ooooh - it's a guy dressed up as a fucking
bat. I'm sure we're all petrified.
It's all such complete crap! "I'm Akira, look at me! I'm so fucking
Japanese!" Putting a million explosions in your story instead of a
story that makes sense should be illegal!
The only book that seems to hold up is that unassailable classic, ZERO
HOUR: "Comics were gash before ZERO HOUR!"
