Grotesque Anatomy
Friday, June 25, 2004
  Re-examining The Classics
The V reconsider some of the supposed comic book classics:
Animal Man, what a load of rubbish. "Look, a picture of a hand holding a paintbrush! SIGNIFICANT!"

What fucks me off is MIRACLEMAN! "Oooh, look at me, I'm Superman, but I'm God, too!" - oh, how fucking clever. And oo, a Nietzsche quote, fucking get you, Alan Moore.

Don't forget Sandman! What a load of old tripe! "Have you read any books? Not as many as me! Where're my Sisters of Mercy albums?"

FROM HELL - "Whhoooaaaaaaaah, BUILDINGS ARE INTERESTING! And look as I TELL YOU A STORY YOU ALREADY KNOW!" YAWN.

FLEX MENTALLO - "Ooo, look at my gay knickers! And now some shit about a rock star for completely no reason!" And all the superheroes were shit! I don't want to read about Morrison's wank-fantasies!

Look at Jimmy Corrigan - "Oh, woe, I'm a fat depressed bloke, isn't my life terribly meaningful?" No, and your comic's rubbish! It's all tiny boxes! If I wanted tiny boxes, I'd buy a Kellogg's Variety Pack!

The Dark Knight Returns? Ooooh - it's a guy dressed up as a fucking bat. I'm sure we're all petrified.

It's all such complete crap! "I'm Akira, look at me! I'm so fucking Japanese!" Putting a million explosions in your story instead of a story that makes sense should be illegal!
The only book that seems to hold up is that unassailable classic, ZERO HOUR:  "Comics were gash before ZERO HOUR!"
 
Like Unto A Thing Of Irony!

Iron Fist

by John Jakala

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